{A}ngels among us....

Where do I even begin??

I guess the beginning is a good place…

So, I once had a dog named Brutus. From the day I brought this little guy into our home he was sick. With what? We didn’t know for a long time. After pricking and prodding, it was finally determined that without colon surgery, our little Brutus wouldn’t live to see his first birthday.

I have never fought so hard for something in my life.

I begged.

I pleaded.

I emailed.

I raised the $$. (THANK YOU FACE FOUNDATION and all the other ‘anonymous’ donors! B is alive because of YOU!!)

MIRACLE.

We thought this would be the answer to all B’s medical problems and that post surgery he would be a new dog. Sadly, two months post-op we were not seeing any improvement and because of the excessive cost and his condition that left poop all over our little house, we decided it would be best to find him a home where someone could dedicate more time to him (you see, I have THREE kids in a small home ((one w/ special needs)), a husband, and a photography business that I am trying to build). We felt like it was in B’s best interest to find him a home where he had full access to a yard, and someone who was not constantly bombarded by the demands of kids and work.

This is where I started emailing every rescue group I could think of. I mean EVERY one I could think of.

They all asked for B’s medical records. One look, and I was told that there was no way they could take him in. His medical needs were too great and there was just NO way they could adopt out a dog w/ B’s condition.

One rescue group I contacted…I don’t want to name names (BOSTON BUDDIES), contacted me explaining that as much as they would like to take B in, he was simply ‘un-adoptable’. I mean, they couldn’t even adopt out a dog that was missing an eye, let alone a dog with bowel problems. The gal on the phone…not to name names (RACHEL), first informed me that she knew the people who had donated some $$ towards B’s surgery and that it was probably a bad idea to adopt him out. WHY I let that effect me I cannot explain, I think I didn’t want to disappoint anyone who helped in his road to surgery! She spoke extensively about a RAW diet that you can feed dogs that helps eliminate a lot of the dog waste (remember here people, this lady HAS not been to veterinary school…) and that I should try this with Brutus instead of trying to find a new family for him. I said I would give it a try…I was desperate and was willing to try anything at that point.

Fast Forward to that evening. I get a call from a lady who says she would like to adopt Brutus.

Whaaaaaat??? As far as I knew, Brutus was “un-adoptable”. I spoke extensively on the phone w/ this woman explaining to her Brutus’ special needs and that by taking him on, she was taking on a FULL-TIME job! I was reassured by her that she was a stay at home mom with older kids and a big yard. It sounded IDEAL and so I JUMPED at the opportunity! I thought I had really found Brutus a forever family.

I dropped him off to her the next day with ALL his medical records, meds to last for the next two weeks until he was to be seen again, and every toy, blanket, leash, bowl, kennel that I ever bought for him. Oh! And I didn’t charge her a dime.

Oh! What a huge mistake I made! HUGE!

This woman had Brutus for EIGHT HOURS before she relinquished him to an animal hospital down in El Cajon (she told me she had dropped him off at the vet so he could have some tests done.) My radar should have been buzzing off the hook when I contacted her the next day inquiring about B and inquired about what the vet said, and she “couldn’t remember” the name of the animal hospital. She then said she was going to stop in and see him a little later in the day. When I contacted her that night she informed me that she “didn’t have time” to go in and see him.

I never heard from her again.

I then received a scathing VM from a woman (RACHEL) at Boston Buddies ripping me a new one. The things she said to me in her message didn’t make any sense. What? Brutus had gone from one person to the next and to someone else who then DUMPED him at the animal hospital to rot? How dare I not give this lady any of B’s medical information or any of his meds?? The hospital had to spend a lot of $$ trying to figure out what was wrong with Brutus. Oh! And I was “heartless”. That was the cherry on top.

I honestly couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing!! I had NO IDEA that any of this had transpired! As far as I knew, Brutus was at the vet’s getting tests done…My heart was pounding out of my chest! What was happening?? This couldn’t actually be happening to my beloved B. Of course I was on my way to a photo shoot in OC, so I had to wait to call this lady back. But I was CONVINCED that once she heard my side of the story (aka THE TRUTH!) she would apologize profusely and ask to kiss my feet because she felt so BAD about the message she left me.

Um..wrong again.

I could not get a word in edge wise with this woman. As far as she was concerned, I was a liar and a horrible person with no heart. The fact that I dumped my dog off to some lady w/ out any medical info OR meds and didn’t inform her of his medical condition, I should be ASHAMED of myself. She, and I quote, “Could go to bed that night not liking me”, and she was okay with that.

She contacted the FACE foundation on my behalf (I’m pretty sure sharing private, personal information w/ out ones consent is illegal?! Am I right or am I right?! I’m right.), telling them all about my conduct and my ‘heartless’ actions. These were people I had worked VERY close with to help get funding for part of Brutus’ surgery. Until I knew what the absolute truth was, I wasn’t going to say anything to anyone. Crazy I know, right? Geesh!

All I can say is that I was beyond heartbroken. Not only had I made the very hard decision to give up a BELOVED pet, but then to find out that he had been dumped and I had no idea what was happening to him? It was brutal and my poor husband seriously considered getting me a therapist! I probably should have taken him up on his offer! I think when someone calls into question your moral character when you KNOW you are a good person and did NOTHING but do everything in your power to save an animal, it’s very damaging to ones soul. I was deflated. I had to know what had happened to Brutus. Until I found out, I couldn’t rest…

So (I did end up finding out what hospital he was in), I drove down to the hospital where he supposedly was just so I could know he was actually THERE. The story was that one of the vet tech’s that worked there had very recently lost her own Boston Terrier and had decided to adopt Brutus.

I had to hear it from the horses’ mouth.

I walked into the animal hospital in a heap of tears and inquired about Brutus. Was he there? Was it true that a vet tech was taking him under her wing? YES I was informed. This was all true. Whew! Great news! Sooo…Could I please see him to say good-bye? NO. I no longer had any right to the animal and did not have permission to see him. Looking back I should have thrown a FIT and demanded my dog back. But I didn’t. I simply got back into my car and sobbed uncontrollably the whole way home (and for the next few weeks ((and still to this day whenever I talk about him!)).

BUT…I am so glad I didn’t demand to have him back. Little did I know that Brutus had some MAJORLY AWESOME guardian angels watching out for him. At the time I couldn’t see it, but it is so clear to me now!

A few weeks went by before I had the courage to write a letter including my phone number and drop off a framed photo of Brutus to the hospital where Brutus was being looked after. I titled the letter ‘To Brutus’ Forever Mommy’. I waited by the phone. I never got a phone call. I was devastated. It became clear to me that the vet tech was somehow convinced that I was a horrible person and wanted nothing to do with me. The lies had gotten to her too…or did they?! (Come to find out, the staff never gave her the letter!)

Fast Forward to January 31^st, 2012 when I finally rounded up enough courage to call the animal hospital one last time to inquire after Brutus. I just had to know what had happened to him.

Luckily, the receptionist who took my message (I didn’t know this at the time) was a very good friend of the gal who had taken in Brutus. She took down my message and said she would have the hospital manager call me back later on in the day…What I got was a call back from the same receptionist asking if it would be okay if Tracy, her friend who had taken in Brutus, could call me the following day…

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

The following day I got a call from Tracy. Brutus’ guardian angel. The person who was meant to have Brutus all along.

The road to get Brutus to her was long. It was hard. It was covered in tears and…it was so worth it.

We spoke on the phone for hours! Laughing, crying, sharing stories about Brutus. I felt like I knew this woman my whole life. She loved Brutus just as much as I had and had fought viciously to keep him alive and safe. She was his protector and his companion, and she really is his mama. It’s hard for me to write that because I still feel like he belongs to me. That I am his mama. I fought so hard to keep that guy alive. I was number one in his heart.

But it was clear to me today, when I was finally re-united with him after so many months of wondering and not knowing, that Tracy is his true mama. I would like to say he remembered me…even just a tiny bit?! I got a few kisses, but mostly he wanted to be in Tracy’s arms. And she held him so tenderly that it made my heart full.

Brutus has a long road ahead…He is still frail and sick after all that has been done to help him. There still is hope though. After chatting with Tracy and giving her Brutus’ background info, she had new insight on his condition and has actually started a new feeding/med regime that she thinks will work. He actually POOPED real POOP while I was there visiting. She looked at me and I looked at her and it was like we were witnessing a miracle! If you knew Brutus, you would know that in his short life…he has NEVER had a normal poop. N-E-V-E-R! Tracy and I were meant to meet. We were meant to heal this dog. I did my part so that she can now do hers.

The torch has been passed.

I look forward to the future. I have high hopes. Brutus is a fighter. He will overcome this. And the wonderful thing is….I get to be there to watch!

I have a new friend.

She is an angel.

I am more convinced than ever before that there are Angels Among Us!